


Bruises

by FugitiveArchivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5923525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FugitiveArchivist/pseuds/FugitiveArchivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“My dream of you was too real, and I have the bruises to prove it”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> Great thanks to Lassenia, the archivist over at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), for saving this one and many others by importing the works there to AO3. I had lost many of these files and was very happy when they popped up on my AO3 account.

You wake up still panting from the vivid dream, the entire bed soaked with either sweat or semen, and it feels bloody good. The frustration you’ve carried since leaving King’s cross is abated. You debate just staying here but the smell is wrong because there’s no trace of him so you get up and change the sheets and then settle back into bed. A sense of boneless peace descends on you and the feeling is so familiar you can close your eyes and pretend you feel him there beside you as surely as you felt him in your dream. With his name on your lips you drift back into sleep. 

The morning rises, cold and gray as all mornings here and yet you feel good. As though you are waking to sunshine and growing plants, beside him. You rise and stretch, not even glancing in the full length mirror as you enter the bathroom. Only as you shower and relax the tense muscles of your body do you recall the extreme vividness of last night’s dream. Shower finished you towel off finally looking in the mirror. There over your hip bones, clear as day, are two oval bruises. One on each side. You turn to examine your back as well and note that the eight corresponding bruises are there as well. You recognize these bruises, you’ve had them before. 

Tentatively you call his name, hoping, praying he’s here. And to your shock you receive an answer, as clear as if it’s spoken in your ear. But when you turn to embrace him no one’s there. You call his name again and again there’s an answer. This time you realize it’s in your head. 

“What- how is this possible?” You murmur aloud.

He yawns, ‘You woke me up Siri, can I explain when I‘m actually awake?’

Slightly dumbstruck you respond, “All right.”

There’s a long silence and you begin to think your mind is playing tricks on you. Then he makes a purring noise, ‘Last night was great but you wake up too damn early Babe.’

“That‘d be Mother‘s doing Rem. But could you explain to me just what happened last night?” You ask, patience wearing a bit thin.

‘I should think you’d recognize it by now’ He responds laughing.

“You know what I mean,” You respond immediately.

He sighs a bit exasperatedly, ‘You swore you read the book I gave you before Lupercalia.’

“I did read it. I just didn‘t understand some of the less… physical bits,” You admit sheepishly.

‘So you didn’t understand the important bits and you still went through with it. Siri, I love you, you know that, but sometimes you are as dumb as a brick wall,’ He murmurs fondly.

“I understood everything I had to!” You cry defensively. “I understood it was a permanent bond of heart, mind, body and soul. I understood it meant that in order to want that with me you had to truly love me, and that if I didn‘t truly love you I had best back out while I could. So what if the finer points of what the bond would do escaped me?”

He chuckles, ‘I take it back. I thought you were saying that you didn’t understand any of it that didn’t have to do with sex. When it’s said that it’s a bond of heart, mind, body and soul it’s all quiet literal. It’s a bond of heart because we had to love one another to do it. It’s a bond of body for obvious reasons. It’s a bond of mind and soul because it links us inescapably to one another. We can never be truly apart. Which as last night proved has definite benefits during forced separations.’

“But Rem, I‘ve got actual bruises, if it was all in our heads how did that happen? I couldn‘t have done it myself,” You ask curiously.

‘The mind is a powerful thing. You believed my hands were on your hips, my lips at your throat, you felt it, it was as if I /was/ there touching you, as it was for me as well. Everything we do is as real as if I were there beside you,’ He explains with a promise in his tone.

“So, we can do that every night?” You ask hopefully.

‘At least,’ He responds predatorily. ‘But for now I better shower before Mum comes to check on me. Hide your neck.’

“What about my neck?” You ask stepping up to the mirror as your door opens. 

Regulus stands in the door way, “Talking to yourself Si? Mother says your presence at breakfast is required, not requested.”

“I was talking to my mirror,” You lie quickly. “And I‘m headed down now.”

In your mind you hear him laughing gleefully, ‘You’ve been speaking aloud haven’t you? You don’t have to you know, as long as you’re thinking of saying something to me I’ll hear it.’

‘Now you tell me,’ You think to him.

‘I thought you’d figured it out when you realized I wasn’t actually there,’ He makes a contented noise. ‘We’ll play again later. Go appease your mother.’

You reach the dinning room and take your seat, hopeful that she‘ll ignore your existence as usual. It’s not to be however. “Care to explain yourself young man?”

“I over slept,” You offer calmly, knowing she’ll be angry, but any response will earn her wrath.

“You over slept? It‘s a common, lazy thing to do and you know better. Much more of this and I‘ll have to keep you home from your cousin Narcissica‘s engagement party,” She says it like it’s a threat, and for your own benefit you pretend it is.

“I did not mean to over sleep Mother,” You try to sound apologetic.

“Be that as it may you did. What would your aunts say if you behaved that way in front of them, how badly it would seem I have raised you…” She trails off and then looks at you, “I‘ll not have you embarrassing me. You are staying here.”

“Yes Mother,” You bow your head in mock resignation to hide your grin.

“What is that on your neck?” She asks suddenly.

“What? There‘s something on my neck?” You go for innocent despite damning evidence.

“Sirius Connor Black, explain yourself this minute!” She demands in a clear warning.

“Based on the way you‘re acting I‘d have to wager you know what it is,” You snap back at her.

“As a matter of fact yes. I do. And who put it there? It wasn‘t there when you got off the train yesterday. Who‘s been in this house?” Her voice is like ice.

“No one has been in the house. It was a charm on a letter I received,” You lie smoothly.

“You haven‘t received any post since you arrived,” She counters immediately.

“I received it at school, just before getting on the train and didn‘t want my friends to read it,” You almost smirk at your own brilliance. 

“And who was this letter from that it marked you?” You’re on dangerous ground now and she’s being explicitly clear about it.

“My boyfriend,” You throw caution to the wind. 

“Your what?” She is uncharacteristically giving you a chance to think better of your actions.

You consider it, and having come to a decision you speak, “The mark is courtesy of my boyfriend.”

“And who is he?” Her tone would seem kind and curious to an outsider, but you know better.

“Well you see Mother I‘m really rather fond of him so it wouldn’t do to give you his name so you could threaten to kill him if he ever spoke to me again now would it?” You reply calmly.

“I am your mother and you will tell me Sirius. One way or another, so which way do you prefer?” She has dropped the act and is looking at you with undisguised malice. 

“His name is Remus Lupin,” You give in knowing she wouldn’t stop at Remus’ name if she had to use imperious or veritaserum on you.

“That scrawny little mudblood in your dorm Si? That‘s just sad!” Regulus calls out beside you and you hit him.

“Don‘t you dare say a word about him Reg, he is so much better than you it‘s a wonder they let you in the same building,” Now your voice is low and menacing. 

“Unhand your brother,” This statement is perfectly calm. “You are speaking to me. You are not only seeing a boy, but a mudblood Gryffindor, is that correct?”

“Yes,” You say it without remorse, you are proud of everything he is.

“And what about this do you think is acceptable?” She’s shocked by the bluntness of your answer.

“To you? None of it, I‘m sure. To me? Everything after the bit where he deemed me worthy of the time of day despite my indelible connection to people like you is more than acceptable, it‘s a bloody miracle,” You retort sharply but calmly.

“You are on dangerous ground young man,” The phrase hasn’t worked since you were ten so she is obviously grasping for control.

“How so?” You don’t flinch.

She stares for a moment, completely at a loss. Then like a sunrise it dawns on her, “If you don‘t start behaving like a proper Black this instant you‘ll find yourself penniless and alone, and then you‘ll see that it‘s because of your connection to us, not in spite of it that you get such attention.” She grins as if she’s struck the winning blow. 

You laugh and use the moment to think very deliberately, ‘I’m sorry for what I’m about to say Rem, I don’t think it’s true but she deserves the shock.’ “I very much doubt that, as it has always seemed to be about the fact that I‘m good in bed, but if you‘re right so be it. You want me out? I‘m gone.”

‘Siri, what’s going on?’ Remus asks you in a very confused tone.

At the same moment Regulus speaks again, “Bloody hell, now I owe Severus ten galleons. You really are useless.”

You respond to Remus first, ‘I’ll explain later Rem.’ Then glaring at Regulus you return, “Whatever bet you made about me this time it‘s your own fault you little wanker so bugger off.”

As if she‘s a kettle on the boil she turns red, “Get out.”

“Gladly,” You storm out of the room.

As you start up the stairs her voice carries from the dinning room, “That boy always was all talk, he‘s headed up to his room, not out of my house.”

You shake your head and turn your attention to Remus, ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t explain before. I didn’t catch your warning about my neck and Mother saw it. At first I tried to be vague and keep the peace but she threatened to use Imperius on me so I told her your name and it escalated into a fight thanks to Regulus and I ended up wanting to leave her with a parting blow she wouldn’t forget when she tried to tell me you’re only interested in me because I’m her son.’

‘Siri! Calm down, you’re giving me a headache. I’m understanding you had a fight with your mother over us, but why would that prompt you to tell her you’re good in bed?’ He sounds both bewildered and amused.

‘It had shock value,’ You offer without the pride you normally feel making that statement. You begin to gather your essential belongings, those things you truly view as yours into your trunk. 

Remus laughs, ‘That it did. Are you really leaving?’

‘Yes, as soon as I get the proper spells on this bloody trunk,’ You say trying to close it to little avail. 

‘While you do that I’ll try to explain our situation to Mum and see if she’ll let you stay with us,’ He offers though no sign of help with your packing dilemma is forth coming. 

Having finally managed to get your trunk shut and light enough to carry you head out to the curb and summon the knight bus. After a moment your Mother steps out the front door with Regulus behind her. She hisses at you, “Sirius Connor Black get back in this house immediately, you‘re embarrassing me.”

“Don‘t be embarrassed over me, I‘m no longer any of your concern. Don‘t bother to contact me I‘ll do fine on my own,” You reply over your shoulder as the knight bus slides to a stop before you.

"Sick muggle loving creature, just like that fool cousin of yours, and look where that got her, practically penniless and pregnant. Go ahead and ruin your life, it's not going to bother me in the least!" She shouts after you.

“Freak!” Regulus adds quickly.

You give no indication you even hear them, but they have reminded you that there are some of your relatives worth maintaining contact with and you make a mental note of it. Minutes or hours later, time is an odd thing on the knight bus, you arrive on Remus’ doorstep, unsure what to do as he hasn’t given any indication of news since you left Grimmauld place. ‘Rem? I’m on your doorstep, should I knock, or turn around and leave, or wait awhile?’

‘I’m sorry Siri, wait there a minute I’ll let you in. Evidentially Mum knew almost nothing about this particular foible of Lycanthropy. She asked me for a few minutes before I could explain why I brought it up, but as you’re here we’ll tell her together,’ He explains in a rush opening the front door. 

“Thank you Rem, for everything. Can we be alone for a few minutes first?” Even to your own ears it’s remarkably timid.

“Of course we can Siri, come on, we‘ll go to my room,” He offers leading you into the house, you look around and it’s as if you’ve been here before. 

You both sit on his bed and he holds you for a moment without question. Finally you speak, “I never liked it there, don‘t get me wrong, but they‘re my family. They‘ve hated everything about me that I like since I was too small to remember. How can I love people who hate me like that?”

“Because you‘re a good, loving person Siri. And I‘m so sorry you‘ve had to go through that but you‘re not alone. You never will be,” He tells you pulling you closer.

“I know,” You murmur softly and fall quiet for another short time. “So, how is it your Mum was unaware of this aspect of Lycanthropy? I thought they studied everything they could get a hold of when you were bitten.”

“They did, but they mostly read the life cycle and general information. Mum said Dad read a couple of the sections titled mating habits but she didn‘t. And then by the time I was a teenager she forgot that there might be some difference,” He explains with an amused grin, “She said I had been acting so normal since I started Hogwarts she‘d begun to forget that in some ways I was different.”

“I see. And she has no idea why you wanted to talk about it now?” You ask easing into the here and now in the continued comfort of his embrace. 

“I suppose from the way she asked for a few minutes that she suspects the type of news she‘s about to get, but not that it‘s you, or that I‘d like you to stay with us,” He explains and his tone has turned as soothing as the way he’s holding you. 

“And how do you think she‘ll take it?” You pause, “That it‘s me I mean.”

“She likes you, so I‘m not terribly worried about her being upset with the fact that it‘s you. I mean there‘s a chance the fact that I‘m gay might throw her a bit, but we‘ve never discussed it so I just don‘t know. I‘m mostly worried that it‘s all a bit much to take in,” Now he does sound worried.

A cocky grin comes to your lips, “No it’s not. ‘Oi Mum, werewolves mate for life, and have a strong, deep connection of heart, body, mind and soul. I have a mate, it‘s Sirius, and he just got disowned. Can I keep him in my room? I promise I‘ll feed him and bathe him and keep him happy.’ It‘s a trifling matter at best, really.” 

He pulls away a bit, “I know what you‘re trying to do Siri but this is important. I want her to see me not some preconceived notion of what I must be because I‘m in with you, and the little boy with a stray puppy act might just murder that cause once and for all.”

“You don‘t have to do this now, like this, if you don‘t want to. I can stay with James‘ family awhile, I doubt they‘d push for why I left home in too much detail,” You almost whisper.

“No. I want you here if it‘s possible. And they‘d ask about the marks eventually and we might go through this all over again. I‘d rather see if Mum might give in because it does no real good to keep us apart,” He is resolved now, and that at least is a relief. 

“And is that to be your first argument?” You ask with an amused smile. 

“Of course not,” He chuckles, “though it sounds like something reckless and stupid I would do under your influence doesn‘t it?”

“A bit,” You confirm thinking of events at Hogwarts over the past fours months. “After all you did pull something similar on McGonagall.”

He blushes at the memory, “I thought she‘d just die right there from shock.” 

“Not a chance, she‘s tough even if she is a cat,” You reassure as if it might still do away with her.

“Mum should be ready to talk soon, we should head back downstairs,” He gets up and you follow, belongings abandoned beside the bed.

He enters what must be the family room and you know now that you have seen this place before, in dreams that must be at least half shared memory. The sofa is soft and comfortable as you take a seat beside him. After a moment his mother enters the room and starts upon seeing you sitting there. 

“Sirius… How- when did you get here?” She asks clearly sidetracked by your sudden appearance. 

“A few minutes ago, on the knight bus,” You tell her immediately.

“Oh, it‘s very good to see you dear. We‘ll continue our conversation later then Remus, you two have fun,” She sounds almost relieved.

Remus sits forward, “Actually Mum I‘d prefer to continue it now myself.”

“If that‘s what you want dear,” She sits down, a look of bewilderment clear as day on her features. 

“As I‘m sure you‘ve guessed I didn‘t bring all this up out of the blue. The reason is that I‘ve already found my mate…” He trails off a bit awkwardly.

“I‘d guessed as much before,” Some of her confusion seems to clear with resumption of the conversation. 

“Well, I‘m sure you‘re curious as to who it is,” He takes a deep breath. “I don‘t know why I‘m nervous over this and I‘m stalling, I‘m sorry.”

You take his hand, ‘Would you like me to just blurt it out?’

He smiles, ‘No,’ “Mum, Sirius and I are together.”

She stares for a moment as if you’re both from Mars. “Let me get this straight, you‘re sixteen, you‘ve chosen and claimed the only person you‘ll ever have, and you picked Sirius Black, whose family would just as soon kill you as look at you? No offense to you Sirius, I like you a rather great deal but when it comes to a life long commitment there are things involved that just aren‘t at issue in friendship.”

“Such as?” You ask ready to fight for her acceptance.

“Well like it or not there will have to be some interaction with your family at some point for instance,” She offers calmly, and it’s clear her objections arise out of concern.

“While that‘s normally true the fact that I was disowned just this morning makes it unlikely we‘ll see any of the contrary elements of my family again actually,” You inform her conversationally.

“Be that as it may there are other things you probably haven‘t thought about. What are you going to do during moon times? Dumbledore‘s solution works for now but what are you going to do when you have to fend for yourselves?” She is trying very hard to be calm and logical.

“We‘ve had that solved for rather a long bit of time actually,” Remus tells her softly. 

She stares at him, “What do you mean?” 

“It‘s not really a solution, nothing short of a cure would be a solution, but it helps Remus, and it keeps me safe,” You explain softly. You release Remus’ hand and stand up, giving her a sheepish smile before transforming. As you look up at her through canine eyes his fingers slide through the fur between your ears and down your neck.

She stares a while longer. 

‘I’m going to transform back Rem, you don’t have to stop petting me but I’m getting the urge to whimper and wag my tail so I’d better turn back,’ You inform him before you transform back and sit beside him again.

“Please tell me I did not just see what I think I saw,” She says calmly as Remus continues to stroke the back of your neck. 

“You saw precisely what you think you did Mum,” Remus tells her evenly.

She turns her attention to you, “What exactly have you done, when and why?”

“Over the course of the last four years I completed the animagus transform in order to help calm Remus during the moon times and keep the wolf from harming himself. I did it out of friendship and a desire to see him safe from harm, but also out of a that I couldn’t express in any other way at the time. I wasn‘t even really aware of what I felt in the beginning, how could a twelve year old know he‘d found his soul mate?” You ask softly. 

“Padfoot has been almost so good as a cure,” Remus explains. “I haven‘t had a serious injury since his introduction to the wolf.”

“Padfoot?” She asks with a hint of a smile on her lips. 

“It‘s what they named my canine alter ego,” You explain, smiling yourself.

“They?” She asks with eyebrow raised, a gesture so familiar it unsettles you slightly. 

“James and Peter did the transformation as well. It was James that insisted we name each of the animals, the wolf included,” Remus explains, glad to see her interested. 

“Wait a minute, you not only did complicated and illegal magic at fifteen you involved the others as well?” Her motherly tone is a foreign thing to you.

Amazingly you feel guilt, “While I do fully admit it was my idea I tried to convince them to let me do it alone but James never could stand to be out of the thick of things and Peter was never one to be left behind.”

“And what is it that they become?” She seems to be gladly remaining sidetracked. 

Remus grins, “James becomes a stag, Prongs. Peter is a rat, Wormtail. And they‘ve named the wolf Moony.”

She absorbs this information for a moment or so longer before turning serious again. “I suppose that you boys might be ready for this relationship. But well…” It’s clear she’s been avoiding this, “Just how long have you known you‘re gay that you didn‘t see fit to tell me?”

“I‘m sorry Mum, and I know after we‘ve been so close for so long it‘s odd but I really wasn‘t sure how to tell you. I mean I just looked over one day and knew that the vague something I had always felt for Sirius was and that was all there was to it. I mean I wasn’t foolhardy enough to get up, stride across the dorm and ask ‘be my mate?’ But I caught him alone, asked if he‘d ever thought about dating another boy and the next week while James was pestering Evans we snuck off with a picnic and the rest is history,” Remus explains in a rush.

“And do the other boys know that you two are together?” She asks curiously.

“Yes,” You accept the benign question gladly, “We told them in December when things got serious.”

“And the staff?” She ventures carefully.

“Professor McGonagall knows,” Remus says blushing, “And I‘d guess Dumbledore does as well.”

“And what did they have to say about it?”

“I believe McGonagall said ‘well I never’ as for Dumbledore, we never did find out,” You supply helpfully.

She looks at you both suspiciously, “How is it that you told Professor McGonagall?” 

Barreling on with reckless abandon you smile and pronounce, “Well you see she happened upon us snogging in an empty classroom during the break between classes and asked Remus if he had any idea what he was playing at. He promptly informed her of exactly what it was he was doing..."

Remus looks at you sharply, “Siri, don‘t help.”

Surprising she laughs, “My Remus said such a thing to a professor?”

You grin, “As if he were speaking about the weather. James says I make him forget himself as if it‘s a bad thing, but I just don‘t see the harm.”

“There‘s harm in it! If she hadn‘t been so aghast at being given a lecture on the topic she was trying to badger me about we would both have spent a month in detention,” Remus gives you his best effort at a disapproving look.

“She wouldn‘t be that bad! James only got two weeks for finding a way into the girls’ dorm and she was beside herself over that one,” You remind him chuckling at the memory of James’ self inflicted torture. 

“Boys?” Remus’ mum asks to get your attention. 

Remus starts and turns to her, “Yes Mum?”

“As much fun as it seems we‘re having I think we need to finish this conversation, for instance what‘s changed that now, all of the sudden you‘re ready to tell me all this?” She looks pointedly at you as she asks it. 

Remus sits forward in a highly agitated posture, “Well, as Sirius mentioned before his parent disowned him earlier today, over us. And we were hoping that maybe we could save everyone a lot of grief and Sirius could just stay here,” His hopeful tone is almost child like.

“I hate to say this but that‘s a bit much to ask of me just now. I promise I‘ll consider it for awhile now and we‘ll discuss it if need be later,” She promises. 

“Thank you,” You put in quickly. 

“We‘ll just leave you be for a while,” Remus says getting up and reaching for your hand. 

You take his hand and follow him back up stairs. Without a word he pulls you down with him onto the bed. After a few moments of complete silence you speak, “Do you want to be alone ? I could go for a walk.”

He pulls you closer, “No, I want you to stay right here. If there‘s something you want to talk about we‘ll talk but if not I just want to be with you.”

“Fair enough and I hate to do this to you but could we talk about something, anything? I‘m not ready for silence just now,” You explain apologetically.

“I understand,” Remus tells you as he runs his hands through your hair. “Have you sent word to James yet?”

“No, and if you don‘t mind I think I‘ll wait until I know if I‘m writing to tell him of my change in address or to ask about staying with them,” You turn on your side to face him. 

“Siri, I know you‘re off balance, you feel like everyone but you has control in this but it just isn’t so. I love you, but beyond that I trust and respect you. While it is solely my mother‘s decision whether or not we can stay here together that is the only bit of this you have no say in, and I have none either. Please don‘t think you need to ask permission for anything. If you feel like a guest and aren‘t comfortable taking certain liberties ask for them, but never think you are anything less than an equal,” The conviction with which he speaks makes you smile. 

“You‘re right Rem I am off balance. And it‘s making me feel like a child,” You know he will take this admission as it is meant, as a request for understanding, not a plea for help.

“What do you need to get your bearings Siri?” He asks you softly.

You smile with the mischief that is creeping into your mood, “Well for starters a kiss might help.”

He seems to consider, “A kiss? I think I might be able to provide that.”

Laughing you pin him to the bed, “I should bloody well hope so!”

Nothing is said for several minutes as you bury your troubles in the soothing experience of a lazy, contented snog. Of course all good things must end and this is no exception as there is a knocking on the door and you separate so he can call, “Yes mum?”

“Actually it‘s James,” James’ voice offers as the door opens slowly. “It seems Sirius has ru- Oh.”

“It seems I‘ve what?” You ask giving into to the fact that it’s time to deal with the world again.

“Your dad said you‘d run away. He said it was for the best, you were never a real Black anyway but that he wanted you to have this,” James walks into the room and puts a box on the table, sitting in the chair beside it, comfortable now that you’re no longer touching.

You cross the room slowly. Despite it coming from your father rather than your mother you are distrustful. After a moment’s careful consideration you cast a spell to detect charms and hexes. The box glows light blue, the all clear. Carefully, still cautious you open the box. Inside are three small items, personal belongings from your room. You lift the first without so much as a thought that it might be hexed, “How could I have forgotten this?”

“What is it Siri?” Remus asks joining you. 

Before you can answer him he is looking over your shoulder at the pendant in your hands, a small silver heart setting with two stones making up the heart itself, moonstone and onyx. You close your hand over it a moment too late, “You weren‘t supposed to see this.”

“Why not?” Remus asks put out at being out of the loop.

James chuckles, “Secrets in paradise? Scandalous!”

“Gifts are not to be seen until given,” You say simply.

“A gift?” He asks you, clearly confused. “I thought we said something about no jewelry.”

“Ah, but I don‘t think this should count,” You say quickly, this you were prepared for at least.

Remus laughs, “Oh? And why not?”

You grin winningly, “Well first of all the reasons we said no jewelry if you’ll remember are because they‘re a flashy attempt to attract attention that neither of us will ever need again, and secondly that it‘s meaningless tokens given in place of things that are thought about. This is neither.”

“What is it then?” Remus asks reaching around to open your hand. 

You allow it, explaining softly at the same time, “It‘s a symbol, a remembrance. The moonstone symbolizes new beginnings, it inspires success, relieves stress, and balances emotions. Onyx attracts good fortune and repels negativity. The same things we do for each other.”

“Since when do you repel negativity?” James puts in as a reminder that he’s here.

“You‘ve got the roles the stones represent reversed James,” Remus puts in carefully running a finger along the stones, avoiding the setting diligently. 

“It‘s not silver,” You murmur quietly to him. “It‘s platinum Rem, go ahead and touch it.”

He does and you place it in his hand. He looks up at you, “You‘re right Siri, this is meaningful.”

“I was going to save it for your birthday, but maybe today is just as important,” You decide aloud looking into his eyes, he nods.

“I can head home if you boys want to be alone,” James says awkwardly. 

Remus laughs again and sits in the other chair, “No need James, I think we could do with some company for a bit.”

“Besides this saves me the trouble of writing a letter,” You say dropping into Remus lap. “Obviously you‘re aware that I‘ve left home. One of two things is going to happen: Either Remus‘ mum is going to let me stay here or I‘m going to need to find a new place to live.”

“Mum‘s already said if you show up on our doorstep she‘ll let you stay. Your mum is actually considering letting you randy bastards live under the same roof year round? Progressive woman,” James comments appreciatively. 

“Well truthfully it doesn‘t matter if we‘re under the same roof,” Remus says in a tone that makes James scowl in distaste. 

“Why did you finally leave?” He asks after a moment. 

You chuckle bitterly before answering, “Mother caught sight of this,” you pull your collar down, “and insisted upon having a row. She threatened to get my boyfriend’s name by any means necessary so I told her. Regulus felt he had to enlighten us as to his opinion on the matter and managed to get her even more teed off. She told me I‘d be on a slow boat to no where if I left and I decided it was better than staying there.”

“Anything is better than that,” James agrees softly. “I am impressed though, you two made it almost a full day before you caused an uproar.”

“We can keep our heads down when we have to,” Remus says lightly as you pull the box to you to see the rest of it’s contents. The next item is a small leather bound book and you try to put it back as if it’s nothing. 

Unfortunately James has been watching you, “And what‘s that Padfoot?”

"Nothing important," You tell him lightly. 

'Liar' You know, almost instinctively he didn't say it aloud. 

'I'm allowed to lie to James, he's a nosy, cheeky bastard,' You reply in kind. 

"If you think I believe that for a second you're dumber than that blonde Peter's dating," James says disapprovingly. "I remember a time when you didn't lie to me you know." 

At that you laugh, "No, you remember a time when you couldn't tell the difference." 

"You know what I mean, about important stuff. You used to tell me everything..." James says in a rare bout of petulance. 

"Then it occurred to me that I was gay and you only wanted to chatter endlessly about girls. You always know the important stuff. Maybe not as much as you used to but that's partly because you don't want to know," You hope it's enough to get him to stop acting like a child. 

"So what is it?" He seems perfectly fine now. Remus laughs at this. "What?" James asks confused. 

"That was quiet a display. I almost believed you," Remus explains. 

"It would’ve worked if you'd kept your mouth shut," James peers into the box as if thinking of snatching it. 

"It's my journal okay?" You hand the book to Remus, "keep it safe from him for me Rem?" 

Remus wordlessly drops it into his lap. James does pout now, "Why am I not surprised?" 

"Because if you have so much as half a brain you realize that it's my journal and unlike you Remus has a right to read it if he wants," Your patience is draining away quickly. 

“Okay, drop the defensiveness, I‘m just joking around,” James says making a dismissive hand gesture. “So what kind of havoc should we cause this year?”

“Oh I‘m sure we‘ll think of something spectacular before the start of term,” Remus assures him grinning.

“I don‘t know, it‘s going to be hard to top making Regulus sing ‘Hello my Baby’ to Professor Liston while tap dancing,” You remember fondly.

“I had never seen a woman turn that shade of purple before, I‘ll give you that,” James says laughing. And then without thinking he goes on, “What did the little berk have to say exactly.”

You hesitate. ‘Actually I’d like to know too Siri,’ Remus puts in. 

You glance back, looking him in the eyes but you speak, “He said ‘That scrawny little mudblood in your dorm Si? That‘s just sad!’ He was emboldened by the fact that unlike at school Mother would favor him even if he was covered in pig shit singing Mary had a little lamb and pronouncing himself Queen Mum.”

“Your mother‘s favor aside the bloody little wanker would do well to remember I have kicked his arse before and I‘ll do it again if I have to,” Remus says though it maybe be to make you smile more than to vent anger and your brother. 

“He knew exactly what he was doing,” James sounds astonished.

“Most assuredly. If nothing else you could tell because he picked mother‘s two favorite prejudges, purity of blood and Gryffindors. But he‘ll get his comeuppance, without me around Mother won’t be able to just ignore his behavior any more. And our Aunts will tear him to pieces now that he‘s the last heir to the noble house of Black,” Despite this speech you feel bad for your brother.

“He won‘t have the same kind of trouble you did Siri, he‘ll be what they want him to be,” Remus tells you softly, perceptive as always.

You nod, “Father‘s right. It‘s for the best, without me they can be a happy family. And without them I can be myself.”

“Like they ever stopped you,” James says chuckling. 

“Maybe not at school but when I had to go back there they had some very persuasive methods of keeping me convinced to keep my head down and shut up,” You explain not meeting his eyes.

“I stand corrected,” James says calmingly. 

You laugh as you lift the last item from the box, it’s a battered stuffie. A gray and white puppy. 

“What is it Siri?” Remus asks curiously.

“I seem to remember his name being Paris, he was one of my earliest toys,” You explain gently stroking the toy’s ears.

“Such a sweet scene, the wittle boy with his stuffie,” James teases.

“I hadn‘t seen Paris in at least ten years, when was the last time you had to hide flopsie under your pillow?” You shoot back at him.

“It was at most last fall,” Remus puts in chuckling. 

“Oi, no ganging up on me, it‘s not fair,” James says, “It‘s not my fault I‘m single.”

“Sure it is, if you didn‘t have an ego the size of the bloody Atlantic Evans might give you the time of day,” You remark lazily. 

“Boys?” Remus’ mum calls from down the hall. 

“We‘re in here Mum,” Remus calls over his shoulder as her footsteps come nearer to the room.

“Someone flooed over, do you boys know who it was?” She asks as she reaches the doorway.

“That would be me,” James says sheepishly. “I would have been more patient but when I arrived I thought it was urgent.”

She looks at him with an amused smile, “How so?”

“Sirius‘ dad popped over, told us Sirius had run away, said they weren‘t looking for him but as he was sure to contact me I should give him this,” He raps his knuckles on the side if the box. “Needless to say I was worried the prat was dead in a ditch or something. Had no idea he was here snogging with his boyfriend as if he didn‘t have a care in the world.”

She glances at you both at that but her smile remains intact, “Well you‘ll find him here from now on.” You both turn to speak, she holds up a hand to stop you, “we‘ll discuss the rules later, after James has gone home.”

You are still facing her, “Thank you.”

After a moment she nods, “You’re welcome Sirius. James, would you like to stay for dinner?”

Before either of you can prompt him either way he replies with a cheery, “Yes Ma‘am, thank you.”

“It‘ll be in an hour boys,” She comments lightly leaving the room.

For the next hour James and Remus discuss mundane things and you participate when you can but for the most part you just let the days events soak in. During a comfortable silence Remus shifts a bit under you, ‘Alright Siri? You’ve been quiet a long while.’

‘Just letting everything that’s happened sink in,’ You assure him. ‘I promise I’m alright.’

One finger rises to the side of your chin and makes you meet his eyes. After a moment he smiles, ‘Okay, but if you need me let me know.’ You nod.

You both turn to James you gives an exasperated shake of his head, “I swear you mutts loose a bit more of your minds everyday.”

You laugh, “If you only knew how right you are.”

“Ha! You final admit it!” James announces happily, “I always knew you were loosing your marbles.”

Before a small war can ensue “Dinner!” is called up the stairs. 

Remus pulls you bodily from the room. “Thanks to you I haven’t eaten all day, come on,” He demands. 

“Now I see what your mum meant by challenges, I‘m the one who‘s going to have to make sure your well fed, hmm? Well at least I‘m a good cook,” You say lengthening your stride a bit so he’s not dragging you along.

“Good, then the only challenge will be peeling ourselves out of bed long enough for you to cook,” Remus announces as James catches up to you.

James groans, “Guys!”

“You are in our house James,” Remus reminds him cheerfully.

“And it‘s not as if we invited you,” You remind him, a bit anxious to hear what the rules are.

“Bloody Hell! Mum has got to worried sick about all of us, I told her I was coming to enlist Remus help in searching for you. You lads go ahead I‘m going to call home,” James says hurrying forward. 

“We should make sure to post his birthday on Evans‘ forehead so he doesn‘t forget this year,” Remus comments chuckling.

“Don‘t think he looks that high,” You impart conspiratorially.

“Yes but if we try to put it where he‘ll be sure to see it she‘ll hurt us,” Remus says nodding.

“Not necessarily. We could spell it on to her, or better yet, just let it slip that we‘re gay,” You offer grinning.

“And break the hearts of the fan club?” Remus asks theatrically.

“Well they should know you‘re taken,” You offer reasonably.

“And what of yours?” Remus asks ignoring your attempt to steer away from this.

“I told that lot to bugger off in November,” You admit. “Not that it worked, but that could be as I didn‘t say why.”

“Why didn‘t you tell me you tried to get rid of them?” Remus asks confused.

“I figured you found them so amusing you might not like my attempts to make them see reason,” You say with a shrug.

“You know why I find them so amusing? They will never give up, even if they were to watch us shag. They have unwavering hope and excellent blinders, it‘s sad but funny,” He explains as you cross the living room.

Before you can respond James catches James catches up to you, “Mum says ‘Hello’. ”

“Please thank her for me. I really do appreciate that she was willing to take me in,” It’s a heartfelt statement. “Not many people would have done it.”

“Nonsense. You seem to have a fan club among mothers as well as giggling teenage girls,” James says cheerfully as you enter the dinning room. 

“You may be right,” You concede taking a seat. “But why shouldn‘t mothers love me? I‘m bright, considerate, charming and dashingly handsome.”

“And he‘s so very humble,” Mrs. Lupin comments taking her own seat. 

“He makes Alexander the Great seem humble you mean,” Remus says taking the seat between you.

“I have never tried to conquer the known world,” You defend playfully. 

“Alexander didn‘t until he finished school either,” Remus reports grinning. 

“Then you‘ll just have to watch out that I don‘t go all egomaniacal won‘t you?” You asks evenly.

“That‘s part of the deal,” Remus confirms softly. 

“So James, how have you been, I don‘t think I‘ve heard from you since Easter,” Mrs. Lupin asks James politely. 

“I think Lily‘s finally warming to me. At least she‘s calling me James now anyway. And I got higher marks than Sirius in Defense this year,” He reports cheerfully.

“Only because one of the key concepts was taught after a full moon and Hollis was a tosser about not letting me attend the review he did for Remus,” You remind glumly.

“And I left you both in the dust,” Remus points out triumphantly.

“Of course you did, it‘s Defense,” James says dismissively. 

“I see nothing ever changes the friendship between you boys,” Mrs. Lupin says chuckling.

“If you mean those two being together I figure they‘re the same people they were before so it‘d be hypocritical to treat them any different,” James explains.

“What he means is by the time we told him it had been going on awhile and he would have seemed like a complete berk to make a fuss at that point,” You provide helpfully. 

“That too,” James confirms laughing. 

The rest of the meal passes this way and when James heads home you’re almost sad to see him go. Almost.

The three of you resume your positions in the living room. Remus breaks the ice, “So, you said there were rules?”

Mrs. Lupin looks glad to not have to introduce the topic, “Just three. First of all when other people are in this house, and I mean relatives or strangers not your friends, no activity more intense than kissing, even in your bedroom. Also you don‘t volunteer to anyone that you share a bed. I have no legal standing to keep Sirius here so if something calls my parenting into question they’ll end up sending you back to your parents.” She pauses.

“Thank you for even worrying about that,” You tell her softly.

She smiles and continues on, “Secondly if you two cause any serious trouble in town I will send you to the Potters in an instant Sirius. I love you both, but the reason we live here is that the towns folk have never really looked very hard at the… odd nature of some of the things that go on here and I‘d like to keep it that way. I‘m not saying I‘m going to send you packing if you cause an uproar, you know upset some old ladies sensibilities or something, but keep it fairly innocent.”

“Aside from some sheep worrying and some heterosexual discomfort I can promise we‘ll stay out of trouble,” Remus assures. “We both understand the value of keeping out of the lime light in some situations.”

“Good, then that shouldn’t be a problem. Lastly, and this one is mostly for my finances, I need at least two days notice from now on if one of your friends is going to stay for a meal.”

“Perfectly reasonable, but do let me point out that it was you who invited James to stay,” Remus puts in looking visibly relieved.

“As for the household finances I can pitch in a bit. I do have money of my own. My Uncle Alphard‘s wife died before they had children and he never remarried so when he saw that I was growing up the polar opposite of the family he set aside a trust fund and made me his heir. So for groceries and such and I can put in my fair share and keep from straining your budget if you‘ll let me,” You explain in a bit of a rush, feeling silly that you’re asking rather than telling. 

She considers awhile. You know from talks with Remus she never would have considered it when his father was alive but the last three years as a single income household has changed her view a bit, “Alright, I‘ll let you pitch in a little for room and board, but if your finances get tight I want you to tell me immediately.”

You nod your agreement, “Say, a hundred galleons a month?”

“That‘s too high Sirius, I think thirty will more than do it,” She says as though she thinks the number is still too high.

“Thirty it is then,” You agree feeling it is too little a reimbursement for all she doing for you, but knowing it will help just the same.

‘You don’t have to,’ Remus comment in the silence than ensues.

‘I want to, and we both know it will help,’ You let him know how much it means to you with tone as well as persistence.

“Sirius, is that a bruise on your wrist?” Mrs. Lupin asks to break the silence.

You examine the wrist and begin to laugh, “Why yes it is.”

“And that‘s funny because?” She asks a bit confused.

“This all started with a very similar question, it‘s funny that it should end that way too,” You respond quieting.

She and Remus both smile, knowing exactly what you mean. You look up at Remus, ‘My dreams of you were too real, and I have the bruises to prove it.’

‘And hopefully you always will,’ Remus responds staring into your eyes. 

~Fin~


End file.
